5 Ways I Deal with Anxiety

You know those erratic palpitations, that dreaded “Oh no! What now?” moments? The “Do I really need this right now?” and the “God are you punishing me?” questions.

Been there, done that.

No for real, when it comes to anxiety, I assure you,  I do not have it easy due to the high stake of responsibilities I bear upon my shoulders  especially when it comes to my academical pursuits , career advancement , and the various jobs I take on during my academic semester. I am sure most people have it harder, but these are what I am currently working on right now. I also have an active life outside of university and work in the various other organisations and church I dedicate my time to.  I might like to add, that I am risk adverse when it comes to investments and taking on big projects unless I have thoroughly check everything from A to Z and I am extremely detailed oriented , and like things to be in order (this is more for my professional life). I planned things meticulously, not necessarily that I abide by them, but I believe in some form of planning. Going on a trip? Plan a detailed enough itinerary. Purchasing a costly item? Search and plan some backup models in the even they are out of stock. Changing religions or faith? Research and meet with various gurus and priests, whichever that floats your boat. Just plan something alright!

Now, just a disclaimer, I know I sound a little “too pristine” and an order freak. Let me remind you that I am a Singaporean. Born, raised, and lived here all of my 25 years on earth so being forecasting, and always planning even when it is all sunny and calm is second nature to us. I am seriously going to use this as my excuse as to why I am obsessed about planning.

Source : https://www.hofstede-insights.com/country-comparison/france,india,singapore,the-usa/

So, this based on the Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions Theory and if you do not already know about this intriguing measure of culture and perceptions, I suggest you check it out here. Now, I selected these four countries because, firstly, I am limited to only displaying only four countries at once and I chose the countries from whom most of my readers are from. As you can see, Singapore (in green) scored high on long-term orientation and we are relatively moderate when it comes to indulgence. Despite being a supposedly affluent country, there is this cultural nuance of always preparing in case of a stormy season and to indulge but always moderately and not for too long. Yes, this is my excuse for me being an avid planner.  Now do not let that low uncertainty avoidance score sway you. The reason it is low is because we are very compliant to law and order , not necessarily because we need to have very strict measures in place to soothe our minds, no , on the contrary , we are one of the strictest countries in the world when it comes to law and punishment. Fines? It is alright I like my money where it is, in my pocket. Jail? No, thank you. * inserts sheepish grin*

Now, when things go drastically off the charts, despite my planning because things like these are bound to happen in this magical realm called “life”, yes you can imagine:

You know those erratic palpitations, that dreaded “Oh no! What now?” moments? The “Do I really need this right now?” and the “God are you punishing me?” questions.

So, here are 5 ways I deal with anxiety

(from my personal experiences)

Acceptance

It has already happened, there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it or maybe there was, but maybe we didn’t due to the lack of hindsight but whatever it is, just accept that it has already happened. It helps us come to terms with the shock value of the negative trigger(s) and enables us to calm down and just focus on solving the problem instead of being overwhelmed that it has happened. Acceptance allows us to be in-charge of the problem and not the problem be in-charge of us. Yes, we are CEO of our problem, so we ought to manage it like one.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

– Maya Angelou

In the event, that we have no control over the situation, it is still a great idea to accept it with as much serenity as we possibly can so that we can seek out relevant people that can guide us, comfort us or even help us to remedy the situation. However, it is paramount to calm our thought process with just accepting it has happened.

Gather Facts

In order to solve anything, be it an argument, a scandal, a business venture that has fallen flatter than a pancake, gather as much information pertaining to the negative situation at hand. Get them from trustworthy sources, or directly from the individuals involved, so that we can get a better overall picture and possibly mitigate some losses or other detrimental effects that arose from the problem. Even if we can’t remedy the problem for some reason to the extent that we would like to, it is still good to have as much information so that we would be more at peace and have surety over the situation.

Tea

If most of you all are like me where you have sensitive sensibilities, and you start developing a slight headache or you just feel like you might need to get a heart monitor (I digress, of course) stop everything for a minute and just do the one thing you know that will calm you down instantaneously. For me it is drinking tea or taking a cool shower. For some it could be, washing their faces, eating a small piece of chocolate, drinking coconut juice, or it could be going for a short walk to clear their heads. It is important to “know thyself” so that you know what works best to calm you down and keep you level-headed.

Reach out

Sometimes, it is inevitable. As much as we all love to be independent and put on the adult office suit, we are still after all social beings and need a support system.

“Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.”


Aristotle, The Republic

I doubt anyone of us is a god nor a beast and yes, we are interdependent on others in some forms and emotionally as well. Reach out to those around you that can help you think more clearly and provide you with the listening ear you might really need.

Be nice

Yes, to ourselves. Sometimes things go unexpectedly the way we may planned and hoped, and that’s life. It good to know when to pull back on being too hard on ourselves and accept that we are all humans and we can make mistakes. It is also good to view the negative outcome as a learning platform where we can know more about ourselves, both our strengths and weaknesses as well as to know how to prevent something like that from happening again. I too, am especially working on this as well.

I hope these tips may help you deal with anxiety as it has done for me. Never be shy to reach out for help if you really do need it be it a professional counsellor or a loved one. Have a wonderful week ahead and thank you, once again for your wonderful support.

P.S. You’re not going to die. Here’s the white-hot truth: if you go bankrupt, you’ll still be okay. If you lose the gig, the lover, the house, you’ll still be okay. If you sing off-key, get beat by the competition, have your heart shattered, get fired…it’s not going to kill you. Ask anyone who’s been through it.

– Danielle LaPorte

13 thoughts on “5 Ways I Deal with Anxiety

  1. With the forced confinement that we have, our mental state has suffered a strong load of anxiety. Which leads to extreme insecurity for not knowing how to fight loneliness.
    His recommendations, without problems to carry them out, they are very effective in achieving a stabilization of our mind and body to obtain the quality of life that we had. Thanks for sharing.
    Manuel

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for reading this post and for your support! I agree this pandemic has given us so much stress and anxiety. I am just clinging to hope that this too will soon pass. Please stay safe and always healthy ,Sir!
      – Stephanie

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I normally let you know in private what I think about your posts, but this time I feel like sharing it on here.

    Let me start off by saying I’ve loved each and every single word of it: it’s a sincere post, where you’ve let your barriers fall down and shown your true self, talking – among the other things – about your insecurities and difficult moments. And you did it for the noblest of purposes, namely to help other people out. Let me tell you that opening up the way you did here, without pretending to be tougher than you actually are, is the best way you could do this, because it lets people see that your suggestions come from a person that, just like them, is human: this helps a lot those who are struggling to empathize and continue to read what you have to say.
    Also, I think your suggestions are truly valid ones, not banal at all. I especially appreciate the “Get to know yourself and your needs” suggestion: that is so true (on a personal note, drinking tea helps me a lot, when I need to relax: it’s something we have in common!).
    Finally, it’s great how you can start off with something personal and end up talking about Countries as well: such an interesting way to frame your thoughts!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for taking the time in reading this post about handling anxiety. I thoroughly appreciate your valuable feedback and I am glad you enjoyed this spontaneous post. It means alot. We are humans after all and anxiety is just a part of it sometimes, hence, why I wrote this post divulging my struggles and often hilarious take on anxiety. Thank you for your kind words and I am glad you like my suggestions. Ah, and yes, we both do have drinking tea as part of our methods to relax and keep calm! And, yes, I added the country analysis to illustrate how meticulous we are and why dealing with uncertainty is a little harder because we have placed so many precautions to prevent any slip ups , in the first place! Thank you, once again for your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Stephanie,

    Thank you for sharing your personal insights! Not many bloggers are able to do it nowadays.

    Your number 1 point (Acceptance) hits me real hard. The reason most of us become anxious is because we aren’t willing to accept what has happened to us. The quote you have written is also wonderful – I am adding it to my Quote List.

    Reaching out also seems to be a significant factor in dealing with our anxiety. We are able to share our problems, which could potentially help us find solutions through the guidance of other people.

    It gives me immense pleasure to be a part of your following list now! 🙂

    Once again, thank you so much for such a wonderful and realistic article!

    Best Regards,
    Kiran Kandel
    Pro Investivity

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Kiran,
      Thank you so much for your immense support and kind words. It is an honour to have you following this humble blog and I am so glad you enjoyed reading this post and found it realistic and relevant. I am also glad you enjoyed the quote as well. Thank you once again for reaching out to me via the comments and for reading this post. I wish you a wonderful week ahead!

      Warmest Regards,
      Stephanie

      Liked by 1 person

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