Dear old friend,
How long as it been since I have corresponded with you! Been a while, say at least 11 months? Why, you have never written me a letter, nor have rung my doorbell, I wonder if something has changed?
My loyal companion, you were all I have ever known. You sat beside me ever so devoted, and each night by the full moon, you whispered the delicacies of your heart upon my ears. You watched them transcend into my soul piercingly and smile sweetly as you watched my countenance change. You intertwined your slender fingers so patiently with mine as we waited till the first break of dawn. I remember each and every one of our conversations, of the stories we told each other and of the day’s activities that we have so amicably shared in the wee early mornings.
Come on, we were inseparable! Have you forgotten how we used to have breakfast then? You ate heartily, a robust appetite you had. Sausages, pancakes, oh and yes, your absolute favourite, which is also mine as well, honey toast. You would steal them off my plate and ate it all before I could even snatch a bite. Slowly, I stop having honey toast to spite you for then you would have none to snatch thereafter.
Don’t tell me you have forgotten how you would accompany me to class. You were such an attention seeker. Always so obsessed with getting my focus away from the professor and onto you. You whispered me a joke about failing since my eyes, ears and mind was constantly on you. I could almost have called you a psychic because you could almost guess the grades I was supposed to get. I ended up always passing. Ah! You could never always have your way!
Seriously now, you certainly have to remember this! You were the one that had excellent memory for you could remember everything that could harm me, trigger me or make me cower and hide. I, however, can’t seem to remember anything from where I have left my keys, to the last thing someone had just said five minutes ago, nor could I remember how to travel to work or class sometimes. You were always there though accompanying me as I made multiple rounds around the vicinity just a few miles off from my destinations regardless of the number of times I have been there. Oh, you were such a tease, always saying that I should invest in a GPS.
Ah, and yes maybe this would jog your memory! I remember girl’s night out with you where we would search for remedies together to heal a wound or a scar. The videos we would watch to mask the hollowness around my eyes and the haircare routines to heal my scalp was immense. I am still subscribed to those channels though; they were your favourite.
Oh, please do not mistake this letter as a sign that I missed you. I am just enquiring of you as you always would do for me when you were around. Where have you gone to? Hmm. Since you know I could do without your friendship. That I am stronger that I have ever been, where gratefulness has flooded the deep trenches of bitterness that you have carved upon my soul. When joy has filled every crevice of my heart that your long sharp nails have clawed out and gentleness has rocked the turbulent waves of weeping into tears of appreciation. Life has revitalised every dried and brittle bones and soothe the layers of scar tissues you have riddled upon my spirit. Sorrow, my old friend, I wish you well and farewell.
“Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” —Leonard Cohen