Maybe, I just want to be heard, willingly? I can’t force anyone to do so for that would not give me pleasure. Is that so wrong? I do not think so. Nevertheless, I can’t deny my altruistic nature.  I shall choose to focus on that because I have learned to smile even when it hurts. To hold someone’s hands even if I wasn’t offered the same comfort as that in turn comforts me. It is as though the healing energies are transmitted from my person to the other and then back to me in a close circuit.

I always laugh to my heart’s content and never hold back because I know I paid a hefty price to smile once again and my smile puts others at ease even if I am not doing too well. Always putting others before me, is my mantra of living graciously and gently. However, tonight, I want to love me and only me.

 Just me.

Tonight, I will just hear myself out. I will love myself inside out. Tonight, my whole world is only going to revolve around me. I am the only thing that exist. I will read all of me, every page from Genesis to Revelation. I will be the most enthusiastic audience there ever will be for me, tonight. Tonight, I am going to transcend a new level of awakening and be intimate with my being. I am going to adore each and every corner of my soul and explore the vast plains of my heart. Like an explorer I will scour the deep trenches and the valleys of my inner most being digging for the finest and most precious gems and metals of my soul. The very world wonders of myself, I will tick off my bucket list. I will sail the deepest oceans of my thoughts and meditate on its elemental hymns. I will admire every wound and scars riddled upon my countenance and trace them softly with my fingers. I will heal all of me tonight, all of me.

“We each possess the ability to engage in self-healing through contemplation and self-analysis.”
Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

12 thoughts on “Tonight

  1. Sometimes we need to find ourselves for a self-evaluation of our being, knowing that we have done well and badly, from there, make the corrections that our conscience dictates.
    An effective reading that leads us to reflect on our way of life that we lead.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Tonight, my whole world is only going to revolve around me.”, and then, coherently with such premise: “I am going to […] explore the vast plains of my heart. Like an explorer I will scour the deep trenches and the valleys of my inner most being…”.
    Through your writing, you’ve actually made your body and soul a physical world: marvelous.

    Remember the Steinbeck novel I told you about? Well, after reading this, I am absolutely sure you’re gonna love it!

    Liked by 1 person

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