Strength

According to the Oxford dictionary :

Encouragement : noun

  1. the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

Noun: validation; plural noun: validations

2. recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.

These two definitions are in no way alike, barely synonymous. However, they are usually interpreted to be of the same essence. The last few days I have been discouraged, terribly so and it is because of the massive weight of responsibilities and emotional turmoil that I have to reawaken due to all of these proceedings. I seek encouragement. I tried it with myself and said positive words of affirmation routinely but sometimes I think since we humans are constructed as “social animals” we need to hear it from external sources. My attempts however, proved to be futile and left me feeling even more discouraged and disappointed. Maybe it was the way I went about seeking a listening ear or some kind words to kickstart my dying out engine of my spirit. I feel almost guilty seeking help in that regard. I am someone who dares not even ask for help unless I really cannot see another way out, so this week’s turmoil is nothing short of devastating.

I personally do not think that seeking encouragement or kind words is the same as validation. I am not trying to prove myself or my worth to anyone else. Exposed to abusive/toxic relationships and environments in the past have made me disregard people’s opinion of me regardless if they are positive or negative, unless I personally first believed them to be true. It is one of the reasons why I personally do not pay heed to compliments or even criticism (unless they are constructive ones). I am proud of who I am and how I have come thus far. I know my capabilities, my strengths, my character and even my flaws and have embraced all facets of me.  However, encouragement is different. It is more of reassuring someone that they are doing alright or that they will do alright eventually. We of course encourage ourselves by saying, “courage, dear heart, courage” but sometimes as humans it is only natural that hearing it externally could be more profound in helping us feel motivated about a situation. I think I need to become stronger so that instances where I feel like I need an external boost on my mental status is barely necessitated. It would also aid in me being misunderstood less.

I have learned that some things are meant to be internally regulated because there are just some things that people regardless if they are of the best intentions could not and render you that encouragement that you require so ardently. I am my own best support system, however, discouraged I am. I feel sick and discouraged even as I am writing this. I feel the need for anyone, just someone to just say some kind words to me, even now which is making me more angry and upset with myself. I am writing it all out here to get it out of my system, like releasing out toxins from my bloodstream. Maybe, I am asking for far too much. You tell me.

Oh wait! I will be alright. I will be strong. I AM strong and I will uplift others who are weak. I will choose love over being right and gentleness over vice. I am incredibly resilent and I am my own competition. Somehow, while writing this heartfelt post now, I have rediscovered my inner fire. No one but me have I ever been surprised with in terms of strength, resolute and unwavering determination. My life is my testimony for all to see and especially for me to see how much I have grown, developed and loved. When I look in the reflection , I see a warrior, I see a lover, I see a fighter, I see a caregiver, I see a woman who knows she has won. I see a passion, so fierce that its sparkle reaches my eyes , pure energy and life.

For Every Hill I’ve Had to Climb

For every hill I’ve had to climb,
For every stone that bruised my feet,
For all the blood and sweat and grime,
For blinding storms and burning heat
My heart sings but a grateful song—
These were the things that made me strong!

For all the heartaches and the tears,
For all the anguish and the pain,
For gloomy days and fruitless years,
And for the hopes that lived in vain,
I do give thanks, for now I know
These were the things that helped me grow!

‘Tis not the softer things of life
Which stimulate man’s will to strive;
But bleak adversity and strife
Do most to keep man’s will alive.
O’er rose-strewn paths the weaklings creep,
But brave hearts dare to climb the steep.

L. E. Thayer

11 thoughts on “Strength

  1. I personally like my anger at times…when it comes up to move me to take action, set a boundary, make change. And I agree that ultimately, it is up to us to encourage ourselves. And….I also believe and would wish that everyone had people in their lives that are supportive and encouraging. We all need that and just think how much higher we could fly when we have a strong branch to fly back to, have people in our lives that truly love and support us.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for visiting and following my blog. I find that living in gratitude helps. There’s always something good to be found from everything. Letting our emotions surface and shouting them out is also therapeutic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bonjour ou bonsoir mon amie, ami

    Bonjour mon amie ami
    Je pense que cette journée sera illuminée de soleil
    Je viens te souhaiter une belle journée
    Sous une mélodie chanter par les oiseaux

    Journée de bonheur ou rien ne viendra te perturber
    Cette journée sera de beauté
    Bonsoir Amie AMI

    Pour cette nuit
    Je te souhaite une nuit de repos bien méritée
    Remplit de rèves flatteurs
    Des rèves que toi seule à le secret de bien gardé
    Sache que certains reves peuvent devenir réalité
    Que cette journée et soirée te soit des plus agréables
    Bisous amicales Bernard

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello Stephanie, you have a great post here. If you ever need encouragement, listen to the voice of God. The voice of God can be heard in the word of God (the Bible). It is okay to lean on someone for help. Many great people did not become great by themselves, they got the help that they needed and when they became great they helped other people too. Lean in and hear what the Lord is saying.

    The Bible says in Philippians 4:6
    “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done”.

    God says in Isaiah 41:10
    “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

    God says in Zephaniah 3:17
    “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing”.

    God says in Isaiah 49:15-16
    ““Can a woman forget her nursing child,
    that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
    Even these may forget,
    yet I will not forget you.
    Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
    your walls are continually before me”.

    God says in Jeremiah 29:11
    “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

    It pays to pray at all times, but especially when times of low mood come, when times of sadness comes etc., actively pray to God about it. Praise his name, thank him for all that he has done so far, and tell him what you need. God is real and prayers work. God is still in the business of making things happen.

    If you want more information on how to connect with God, I have a post on it here:

    https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/ 

    You can check out the blog post above. If the information is too overwhelming for you, then you can start slow and work your way up gradually. If you want to stay updated and you want more posts from me, you can follow my blog. I post about God, faith and Christian Spirituality.

    If you ever need to talk, then send me a message on the “Contact” section of my page.

    May God’s blessing be with you, Amen. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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