This reflection is inline with the old Kantian maxim “Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end.”

What do I really want?

1. I want to belong in a church community. I left my previous one, of which I had been apart of for years because I need to grow and develop apart from that. I need “meat” and no longer require milk. It is a spiritual growth kind of journey.
2. I want to be fiercely independent , emotionally. I do not want to rely on others or habits to comfort myself.
3. I want to live a healthier lifestyle, both mind and body despite the high stress that I face constantly and unfortunately for the time being that I cannot come out of.
4. I want to stop putting others over myself.
5. I want to become emotionally stronger. I sometimes wish I could go back to my old self where I really did not care too much.
6. My biggest weakness is caring too much, unnecessarily at the expense of my health . I wish to eradicate it by the end of this year.
7. I want to complete all the tasks that I have set for 2020. I am 80% there and on track. However, I am alittle burnout but I am in a rush to complete. This is to make up for the down time I had in the previous years where I could not be as high functioning as I am now.
8. I want to be treated with respect and valued. It would be nice to receive something thoughtful sometimes.

What am I currently doing in order to get what I want?

1. Registered for a new service in another church that is basically ancient in years and service.
2. I try to regulate my emotions in a detached style so that I can peacefully understand myself without too much turmoil.
3. I am conscious of my habits and is mindful about the various thoughts that passes through my mind.
4. I put myself first, mentally, physically and emotionally.
5. I exercise because it helps me feel calmer.
6. I watch cartoons and comedy to take care of myself and make myself feel valued and eat on time.

What are the ways that I am doing what I don’t want to do?

1. I am caring too much and I do not want to do that.
2. I am procastinating on doing the things that would make me feel better overall, because I am sometimes scared to do new things even if it is something good.
3. I am obsessing about situation(s) and pretending to myself that it is okay (please, do not be like this). I will now get over it.

Follow effective action with quiet reflection.

Peter Drucker