I am feeling down today and there is no other remedy I believe except but to embrace it, feel it and let it go.

My heart is thumping against my ribcage loudly. I can almost hear it as it echos throughout my entire chest. My eyes are prickling with tears threatening to fall. I am sitting under the shadows of the afternoon sun typing this away. Tell me , what more could I do to heal me of this affliction? My breathing is erratic , my stomach a cold icy barren land. The emptiness is profound, my soul parched and my heart yearning. Yearning for what? I have a faint idea, maybe it could be needing a rest. It has worked so much all these years, contracting and releasing , pumping blood and oxygen all over my body but moreover, it helped me stay connected to people, was there through all the pain and heartbreak, pushing me on with pure grit and determination. I am fairly certain, that I did not give enough time for it to rest abit, to thank it for staying ever true to me , for guiding me , for saving me, for leading me and for healing me.

I want to lay on the lush forest floor laden with the freshest lillies and moss and let the world swallow me whole. As I look up at the sky, I would allow my whole life to flash before my eyes like a screen , watching every scene with ardent fresh eyes. Then , I want to escape into the earth even for just a minute to remove my existence just for that moment, to just not exist for awhile. Contented, I would come back up, my back against the lush floors of the forest, and fall asleep, with tears brimming as I listen to the heartbeat of the earth. Mother Gaia, is a very peculiar mother. She teaches harshly, punishes softly. I want to sleep quite literally among the wild mushrooms and flowers, and forget this pain, this suffering , this heaviness for just a while. Goodnight.

13 thoughts on “Heavy

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